Do not let the world make you hard.

Do not let the world make you hard.

  “Be soft. Do not let the world make you hard. Do not let the pain make you hate. Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you … Continue reading

Scrimmage with Anxiety

Unbeknownst to my family and friends, I am suffering with depression/ anxiety and panic attacks for about 2 years now. Prior this year, Insomia, mood swings, shortness of breath, chest pain and poor diet are among the symptoms I am … Continue reading

How was my 2014?

This is it! This is the first day of the year 2015. New year. New life.

We are all going to start a new chapter of our life.

Page 1 of my 2015. But before I totally move on. I want to take a glance for what I had in the year 2014.

Who would not know what planner is?   As a girl who hoping-to-manage-everything-but-totally-cannot, as long as possible I save/ use the days accordingly to my plans.A planner can keep all my plans, thoughts and ideas organized, and it can also offer a dose of inspiration, a useful reminder, or a touch of nostalgia as I look back on what I have achieved.

My year 2014 looks like my Planner/diaries’ physical appearance– Thick, Rough and Dark.

It is THICK,  many post-it was pasted(reminders/ notes). As far as I can, I record all the things I did.There are unplanned things happened in my year, some are interesting and somewhat miserable things.Both happened in unexpected way. The thicker it gets the stronger I became. Some bad things happened to me are blessings in disguise some are consequences of the things I did. Indeed, I met a lot of people in 2014  and I learned that People just come and go, and I must get used to it.

My 2014 was ROUGH, my planner’s texture was made sort of wood . Like wood that comes from trees who possess life, it needs nutrients coming from it roots. In our life there’s no such things consistent and if ever there will be, that is nothing but change. Our tomorrow will not be the same of yesterday and what happened yesterday will no longer exist for tomorrow. Our life is like sailing in a boat. You have to row your paddles or else you will not go forward. In year 2014, I had a lot of storms and big waves but I have no choice but overcome it otherwise I will be drowned. Sometimes, it seems that I am driving in rocky road with my two hands up hence I lost my directions.  Judgments, reactions and prejudices of people are everywhere like  stones and humps hindering me to go wherever I wanna go. Bad thing, I almost give up. Good thing, I didn’t.

Lesson Learned : You should not give up. No matter what, Life must go on.

Lastly it was DARK, like a darkness who reigned through the night, we don’t know what lies ahead. Full of mysteries, full of secrets. Secrets that maybe one day will kill me. Who knows? This year was so tough, there’s actually a time I can barely move on considering the fact that i don’t know what lies ahead, saddest part is I broke myself into pieces and can’t hold it back, the same as what it is like before. Yes, I was lost. I was Broken. It feels like I was thrown into deepest part of the the sea that I can barely breath. It seems that I am somewhat like a culprit hiding to someone that parts of me breakdown whenever something makes me remember it, remember that person, remember something whatever it is. Yes I may have secrets but those things will be left behind as I leave the year 2014. Yes, that’s what I want. I don’t want to live with the past.

Page 365 of my year 2014 was done. What happened last year will be nothing but memories. As I leave 2014 and facing a new page of my life. My eyes are now wide open, getting ready for what lies ahead. I able to find a lamp that will be give light to be able to step forward and face tomorrow.

My 2014 was confusing, challenging , emotional, depressing, eye-opening and unforgettable year.  This made me what I am right now. Not hard as a diamond, but strong enough to win my fight.

Page 1 of 365 of 2015? Bring it on!